Wednesday, October 28, 2009

"What Do You Mean It Took You This Long to Watch LOST?!"

Yes, I admit it: I just barely started watching LOST and I'm barely into Season 2. "But, Jon..." you whine, "LOST is such an incredible show and you seem to be a pretty pop culture-savvy guy. Why hadn't you ever seen it before?" "Because," I lament, "I didn't want to be like everyone else."

So, yes. Watching LOST from the beginning in order to catch up before the new season in January is a bittersweet experience for me. Sweet because it's addicting, much like Heroes used to be in its fledgling years. The plot twists, the Evangeline Lilly, the surprises, the action, the Evangeline Lilly, the unanswered questions, the Evangeline Lilly. Bitter because it's maddening learning one thing ("what's in the frickin' hatch?!?!") only to not learn 10 more things: why was Kate a fugitive in the first place, what happened to Sayid's chick, what is the smoke-monster thing, who are the Others, where is Walt, who was Ethan, why does Claire have to raise the baby herself, why haven't Jack and Kate gotten together yet, what happens if you don't push the button every 108 minutes, where did 4 8 15 16 23 42 come from, etc.

The real killer, though, is not being able to read spoilers.
I made an awful, awful promise to my girlfriend: that I wouldn't read any LOST spoilers. As some of you may know, I am notorious for reading spoilers. It's not really a question of curiosity; it comes from impatience. Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books that wouldn't let you know what you were getting yourself into when you turned to page 73? Yeah, I hated those things. So, at the end of every single episode, I'm turning to my girlfriend with my jaw slack and eyes wide and saying (a) what hell and/or (b) next episode! She thinks it's cute.